Tag Archives: Taylor Swift

I am Disconnected: Why? Can I change?

A life in the Spirit, Psychological growth, Spiritual direction, , , ,

How we associate, kind of, now

How we connect to ourselves, others and God has changed, and we feel it.

The Acton Institute for the Study of Religion and Liberty is a conservative/libertarian research and education think tank. In a 2021 article for them, Joseph Sunde tried to add to the big discussion among researchers about why Americans are so disconnected. He sidestepped the obvious by not mentioning being locked down for a year by a virus that made us suspicious that relationships might be contagious. And he neglected to highlight the Trump effect that made family reunions (and churches) minefields of politics. Instead, he took the long view.

The unraveling of the U.S. social fabric has been well-documented since Robert Putnam published Bowling Alone in 2000. When I was a pastor in 2000, that book gave facts to bolster our instinct that one of the main directions the Spirit was moving us was to create community in a city where every other force was tearing it apart. Sunde reviews what studies are showing two decades later, and they are revealing. One researcher says, “Today, Americans tend to have fewer ties of association with each other and fewer organizational memberships, but they also spend less time on friendships….Many of the ties to social identity Americans do have are less conducive to social flourishing. For example, church attendance has fallen dramatically despite its social benefits, whereas entertainment-focused associations such as sports teams have risen in popularity.”

At some point, sports reached the tipping point vis a vis other associations, especially the church. We could see it tipping when soccer practices began to invade Sunday morning. Another good reason we had our worship times on Sunday nights was so parents did not have to force their children to choose. However, we still had to adjust for the national holiday called “Superbowl Sunday” to take up a Sunday night. We were definitely “second fiddle” then.

Swifties in fan outfits. Click pic for more.

Another example of “entertainment-focused associations” presented itself in Philadelphia  last month when Taylor Swift’s tour arrived. The local CBS outlet said, “Lincoln Financial Field is ‘holy ground’ for Swifties tonight as Taylor Swift will hold the first of three concerts of her Eras Tour.” Tickets were hard to get but “fans who were able to score a ticket dressed up for the occasion inspired by their favorite Taylor Swift songs.”

All that goes to validate how you feel disconnected and why. You probably do. I am a lot more disconnected that I was in 2019. A perfect storm of troubles has atomized the country and wicked people are capitalizing on our disconnection to seize power and keep us divided, as they historically do in such circumstances.  It’s an evil instinct.

So what do we do? Maybe you can fill in your own personal details as we brainstorm how to claw back some connection.

To reconnect with yourself

Now that the church is so weak in many places, we’ve really got to step up our personal spiritual disciplines. After many people lost their churches during the pandemic, they realized their love for the Lord — heart, soul, mind, and strength, was mainly about being associated with the church. That’s a good thing, of course, but it is not the only thing. Without a growing personal relationship with God, spirit to Spirit, we lose ourselves quickly when trouble comes. And it is likely to keep coming.

You probably have some moribund disciplines that could be reignited. And you probably have some you’ve always thought you should try. Look at what your heart, soul, mind and strength each need and do something right now.

Here are some ways to reconnect that might not have some to mind.

  • Sing with a karaoke version of a worship song on YouTube. Singing is very integrative. Here’s one of my son’s childhood favorites.
  • Try sex with your partner again. Stress is bad for sex but sex is good for stress. We feel better about ourselves and our connectability when we get close physically. If you don’t have a sex partner, touch people, kiss your parents, hug friends.
  • Take a pilgrimage. It could be to Portugal or King of Prussia. I just got back. Being out of the rut for a while and rubbing up against new things is a good way to see yourself as who you are now. It is also good for meeting God in surprising ways, which is the crucial element of knowing one’s true self.
From: 5 tips to spice up dining with friends

To reconnect with others

The problem with connecting with others is connecting. We have to do something, move toward someone, organize to connect. The deepest parts of us say this is just supposed to happen, like mom should feed me. But once we’re over 30 or so, we need to take responsibility for meeting our connection needs.

Apart from changing your mind, here are smaller things to try:

  • We decided to end our disconnection with the church by going to a church meeting six weeks in a row during Lent. It worked!
  • Eat with someone. You don’t have to go through a drive through all the time. Make the family gather for dinner. Go out with a couple. Plan a monthly date with a friend or group. At least eat inside where other people are once a day.
  • Do some therapy. The experience of being listened to loosens up our capacity to connect with others.

To reconnect with purpose

The last few years have left use reeling. The huge problems of our politics, climate and disconnection have reduced us to survivors. It is no wonder huge spectacles are welcome distractions from the huge forces that plague us.

The associations for which America was once famous were built by people with a common purpose. Do you think we can still act out such purpose? Here are foundational ways to do it.

  • Listen. Who are you God? Who am I? What shall I do? These basic prayers are the kind that get answered. I don’t think they are answered by books as well as they are answered by meditation. Take the time.
  • Plan. Write down what you hear and let it get shaped into a plan. “I need to stop drinking. What shall I do after rehab?” I don’t think things happen to us as much as we would like. We need to happen ourselves.
  • Create. We just watched the movie “Air.” The theme was, unsurprisingly, “Just do it.” It was a good depiction of how hard it is to give your gifts and do what is best. But that is what are meant to do. We were created to create. Take the best thought you have now that aligns with the resources your have now and do something about it every day. You’ll feel better.

Did Taylor mean to run over Jesus?

Music, The Mission, , , , ,

Taylor Swift was in town this past weekend. Thus caps off my ten-day meditation on Bad Blood. Now, of course, I love Taylor Swift like everyone else. But that does not mean I don’t want to speak some truth as part of my love.

I wrote in my Facebook page: “I think I am spending a week with this Taylor Swift vid — Mad Max meets Project Runway meets 50 Shades? What do YOU think this mashup means?” Some people taught me some stuff.

On the face of things, Bad Blood is just a very thin “I’m really mad at you” break up song: “Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted. Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it’s all rusted.” But it quickly moves to: “Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes.” 

It is OK to tell me I am over-reacting. But can I just point out how anti-Christ it is to deal with a broken relationship by renaming yourself “Catastrophe” and imagining getting together with your superhero friends for a fight to the death? Have we all become Lindsay Graham? Is this mentality running Jesus over?

The song is thin, but the video is lush (even though it is mostly devoted to model-like strutting with weapons). It starts in a typical high rise office floor (which many people might feel is worthy of blowing up). The action begins when a gray-suited man in a Zorro mask man falls on a desk. Catastrophe (Taylor Swift) cartwheels in and puts on lipstick. More suits meet two women dressed in plastic, one in black: Arsyn (Selena Gomez) one in white (Ms. Swift). They triumph, but Arsyn betrays Catastrophe and pushes her through a window and lands her artfully on a vintage car. Catastrophe is then dropped into an Elysium-like medical device for repairs and comes out more super than before. She begins to collect her crew of strong women mentors and goes to revenge boot camp.

The cast all chose their hero nicknames, such as Lucky Fiori. The Trinity straps on Catastrophe’s armor. She goes on to weapons training with Dilemma, Slay-Z (and her bulldog in a Hunger Games training center), Destructa X, Home Slice (the awkward ninja), and Mother Chucker. Cut Throat teaches her to knife a teddy bear. The Crimson Curse (looking like Leelo — Hayley Williams of Paramore) looks like an homage to Chucky (who was also out of his box in 1989). Frostbyte must be a salute to Elsa. Knockout teaches her some kickboxing, complete with moves for slicing off a man’s head. Domino (Jessica Alba) teaches her to ride motorcycles like in Tron. Then the older mentors come in to pass on their wisdom: Justice (Mariska Hargitay/Law and Order SVU/Jayne Mansfield’s daughter — danced at the concert Saturday) , Luna (Ellen Pompeo/Dr. Meredith Grey), and Headmistress (Cindy Crawford). The showdown occurs with flames and London in the background.

I’ve watched the video enough to collect the names (even though I could have found them in IMDB). It is entertaining. But I keep thinking there are points being made. If not, there is certainly influence happening. One fan got married before her concert Saturday and was treated to a close-up backstage. so that influence happened. This kind of relatablility and connection is a Swift trademark, which make mothers feel like she is a good role model for their daughters. So what role is Bad Blood modeling with all those models strutting in high heels toward their personal Armageddon?  I asked my FB friends to make some sense of this video for me, and they did a decent job.

#1 —  Although I don’t think Kahn executed the narrative well, I think it’s pretty clever that she paired what could have been written off as a “catty” diss track (some people wrote it off as one, using that language) with the huge vibe of the summer blockbuster. It is a diss track about another woman, but there are more images of women supporting each Swift as she trains for vengeance. It grounds the one frayed relationship with a woman, with all of the other positive ones she has (although, how positive can a relationship be if they are encouraging you to shoot bazookas at a former co-worker?) 
            It says, to me, that when women write about not liking women it isn’t because they are catty, it is because they are experiencing the range of human emotion. Swift isn’t letting Hollywood disregard her experiences because she is a woman. Fairly assertive idea, I just wish she would have hired a better director.

#2 —  I know the name Taylor Swift, but couldn’t pick her out in a line up or know any songs. I watched that video for some reason and my over-simplified thought is: it’s empty and all about sex. Some boys are turned on by seeing girls fight. S&M¹ has worked its way out of the sub culture into the mainstream. It’s pathetic and laughable to watch. Milky gals playing dress up and not fully grasping what’s going on. It’s like seeing the distortion, evolution, transformation, whatever you call it, of Punk. Nearly 30 years ago, someone with green hair and a nose ring was expressing and living out something very different than the folks who have it now, acceptable by everyone, suburban moms, etc.

#3 —  Pop culture mash-up. No intentional symbolism or purpose. Showreel ²–  20 bucks on Khan doing a studio picture in the next 3 years.

What do you think?

Taylor’s trucks would not mean to run over you, either, maybe.

I think Taylor Swift is an immensely talented songwriter, musician, and entrepreneur. You have to admire anyone who can amass $200 million by age 25 (!). She has thousands of devoted fans who feel like they know her. She may feel like she knows them, too. She’s a fantasyland on wheels. Not everything she does is bad of course (I like Shake It Off, too)! But, if nothing else, she encourages young people into even more delusional behavior, which usually works its way into delusional life-making decisions and works its way up and down the societal food chain into delusional government policies and popular philosophy, which runs over Jesus.

Could that be true? Is Jesus getting rolled over by who-knows-how-many concert trucks parked at Lincoln Financial (there’s an homage for you) Field? Maybe. Whether Taylor means anything by her songs and videos or not, they mean a lot when they are so influential they override the sensibilities of the impressionable. Do you think I am overreacting when I point out that an artist who makes an anti-Christ video with 192 million views (and counting) on YouTube should mean something? Isn’t the meaningless running over Jesus? Or do you think something else is happening here? Let me know.

¹ Sadism and Masochism — when used in relation to sexuality, the practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant.
² A short videotape containing examples of an actor’s or director’s work for showing to potential employers.

Burned-out Evangelicals and Millennials

Music, The Mission, , , , , ,

As I was praying this morning, I realized I might be overly preoccupied with two groups of people I seem to love more than others — even though God does not show favoritism (Acts 10:34).

I am very concerned with the burned-out evangelicals I meets who are super sensitive to being marched around by narcissistic leaders.

I am also concerned about the slavish millennials who are like hunter-gatherers living in small tribes feeding off the cast-offs of society, with little hope of the future.

Of all the people who were worshiping with me last night: successful professionals, immigrants, hard-working teachers, dutiful parents, etc., I tend to hone in on these two subgroups. I think that is because they need to be saved and are oh so close to getting there but often have the deck stacked against them.

Not an evangelical

"If someone tells you that you are “on fire,” and your first thought is not to stop, drop, and roll...you might be an evangelical." -- Elizabeth Kaeton
“If someone tells you that you are “on fire,” and your first thought is not to stop, drop, and roll…you might be an evangelical.” — Elizabeth Kaeton

I’m not a burned-out evangelical because I never really was one. I had plenty of opportunities to travel with them (I was even trained by Campus Crusade before they coolified their name to Cru), but when I was making a decision about who were my people, I found the Anabaptists. I liked the Brethren in Christ because they added on “Pietist” and “Wesleyan,” to their Anabaptist roots, and basically refused to be too strongly affiliated with some past description because old labels don’t make that much sense in the present. But even though I don’t live in the mainstream, I still meet many skittish people who grew up in a mega church or a conservative, little, strangulation-by-Bible church. They don’t always have a live relationship with Jesus, but they do know a lot of Christian stuff. It is often like they are inoculated against any real relationship with Jesus because they were trained to be suspicious of every wrong way one might have one!

They need to be saved rather than just be deserters of the bogus faith of their past, or mere critics of what others say.

Not a millennial

Click pic for positive look at the "millenial" generation
Click pic for positive look at the “millenial” generation

I’m not a millennial, either (according to Pew, I am a GenXer). But nobody really knows what a millennial is, anyway, which is probably what makes someone a millennial. They appear to be less “white;” they can’t remember a time without the internet; they can work devices and act technologically savvy. They don’t care as much about success, and that is good, since they will probably be less well-off than their parents. Under their parents’ watch, their future wealth was stored up in the 1%, the government became more like a corporation and started selling off public assets to businesses, and people became so fearful of terrorists and of losing their jobs that they stopped trying to change things. The younger one is, the more likely she is to feel like it is “all up to her” and maybe she will be helped by a few close friends. For many of these people, the church is just another huge institution they sometimes hover around looking for scraps of meaning to put in their personal identity backpack.

They need to be saved rather than left isolated and suspicious, being injured by the huge forces that use them like raw material, like slaves sent to make bricks without straw when they speak up.

Living in mercy

My life is filled with students, children, parents, and Christian leaders — all sorts of people. I love them all. But these two groups seem to make my heart break and my conviction stir. I think they represent what is hardening the hearts of the next generation.

One of the things I want to do most with my days is work with God as she softens us up for love and truth. Most days I am not sure what I am trying to do makes a bit of difference. Most days I am content to let God make of it what he will, since he is part of every generation and his mercy is new every morning.

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